Monday, June 14, 2010

Smile Like You Mean It

For the last few months I have been running. My friend and I recently up'd our run to 4 miles...one mile warm up followed by a non-stop 4 mile run. I have to say I'm pretty dang proud of us. This is quite an accomplishment for both of us, and it feels sooo good!

Today we started at 5:30 am...well, 5:35 actually because I have to be five minutes late every morning ;)
It started like all the other days, I was feeling good and listening to some good music on Pandora.

It didn't take long before I was talking myself out of it (as always)
I was thinking of what I could say to Megan so I could walk a bit.

Does my leg hurt? Maybe I swallowed a fly....man seriously? four miles? UGHHHHH how am I going to do this??

I basically have to talk myself into continuing on for quite some time, then I sort of go numb after awhile. Today was a little different though, after I went numb I was actually able to think! and I mean process something other than "stop body, stop!!!!! just walk!!"

I can see how running turns therapeutic for people. I certainly didn't understand that before!

We were on our last mile and the song playing right now (should be anyways) came on....Smile like you mean it by The Killers.

I instantly thought of my job as a photographer, mommy, and wife. I was pushing myself, sun in my eyes, my legs wanting to stop, sweat beading up on my lower back, my chest....

I got goosebumps.

I tapped Megan and showed her my arms, unable to tell her why, I just wanted proof that I had the chills while sweating!

I can't explain exactly what I felt, I find it hard sometimes to get it out and onto this blog.

I had a moment.

We pile on task after task forgetting to take in what we have, or even what we once had.
I feel that my days consist of cleaning...dishes, laundry, bathrooms, cooking, planning, preparing, mothering, pleasing, sacrificing, editing. I focus too often on just doing those things....going through the motions.

I need to take it in, I need to re-center myself from time to time, I need to listen to the stories my kids tell, I need to tell my clients to just play...you have one hour to focus on your kids only(or each other)THOSE are the memories you want on your walls, I need to clean my house and know that I have a roof over my head, I need to cook and be happy that I am able to feed my babies, I need to look at my husband when I kiss him, I need to

smile.

This is what life is.
what it's all about.....


... so smile like you mean it :)


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10 comments:

..Kris Naven.. said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this! Have I told you before that you should be a writer too on top of everything else you do? :) You are amazing Katie, and good for you to start running! Like you said it is theraputic, and now I understand why Jake runs so much. It is a stress reliever. I just started running last week too with a good friend, and I was laughing when I was reading what you wrote because that is totally how you feel when you run! All those things go through your mind! We are working are way up too, and we started last week at 2 and 1/2 miles! I will be smiling too when we are up to 4! You go girl! Love you, miss you and I hope we can see you soon! :)

Heather said...

I call it a runner's high, and it is addicting.. be careful : )
Very inspiring Katie... considering I need to head out right now and run, but I am here on the computer. I am running RAGNAR this weekend here in Utah and I am not ready... but it will be done. Here's to happy running!

Laura Fragoso said...

Love your words Katie, it's all so true! Maybe I should try this thing called running;) and of course the picture is awesome and I was certainly smiling like I meant it LOL!!!

Charlie and Alice said...

Oh my goodness Katie. This article, that's what I'm calling it because it was just too inspiring to just be a blog post, was amazing. It made me feel glad that I was reading it while in my gym clothes, after I had finally dragged myself to the gym. It made me want to do more the next time I get to the gym. It made me want to stop thinking about my last job priorities (school is out and I have no flock of kids to heard) and start working on starting this business that I have been talking about for years. Truly pursuing my passion. It also made me want to tell my husband how wonderful he is, and that dragging my feet to start a family is just an indication that I want to be selfish in having more time with him before they come along.

Great work. Continue to inspire...you're good at it.

{Marie Long} said...

love this, just what I needed. It's all about enjoying everything you do, and not about how clean the house could be.

Kem said...

Katie thanks so much for the reminder of what really matters. I have been feeling very unorganized and hating it and last night on a walk I realized that I need to just breath and enjoy and love what I do and find time for what matters. Way to go on the run me and my friend Megan have been working out and its amazing what having a friend around can make you buck up and jus do it. Love the photo its perfict for this post. Love ya girl and keep it up

The Elmers said...

Thanks everyone! I hoped to inspire a tad with this post...but Alice, Oh gosh I totally cried like a baby when I read your comment :) so thank you too!! Love you all!

Megan said...

Man I love you! Thanks for being so awesome and making me a better person/runner ;) I seriously don't know what I would do without you!

So that's what those goosebumps were all about ;)

Keri Ann said...

JESH!!!! um, I mean KATIE!!!! LOL! I.... seriously love what you said here. We do don't we, I love when I have moments like these. I wish I could bottle them and open them when I need them to take a whif and rejuvenate. it's so easy to get cought up in it all. Beautiful words, thank you for sharing your moment.

as always...beautiful image!!! lets hang out!!!

THE HAGES said...

Have I ever told you how amazing you are?! I love you Katie and I love what you said here. Thanks!